It’s just a number, right?
Wrong.
It’s your whole life.
You eat exercise.
You breathe pounds.
You see in numbers.
It begins to take over everything.
First it starts with exercise.
Minutes turn to hours.
Then you start to count calories.
Thousands turn to hundreds until they turn to nothing.
The numbers start to grow in your head.
They’re the last thing you think of before you go to sleep.
Second is weight.
The first few days your body aches from hunger, but soon you begin to fall in love with it.
The pain.
It reminds you that what you’re doing is all for not.
The first change you notice is your collarbone.
You notice that it’s starting to pop out more.
The next is in your hands.
The bones you used to never see start to move and become more visible.
Then your ribs start to appear a lot more when you breathe or stretch.
Your legs then begin to shrink and the gap starts to appear.
Your arms become skinnier and your face gives it all away.
The thinness and fragileness of it gives away that you’re dying inside.
The dark circles under your eyes contrast with your skin and those around begin to see how exhausted you are.
And there you have it.
You’re starting to die.
The pain is gone at this point, but the thing that remains is the emptiness you feel inside.
You’re hollow.
A shell with a soul long gone.
You no longer feel the life, the energy inside you.
You begin to wonder how long you’ll keep going.
What’s your breaking point?
Every pound seems to take away a bit of your spark.
Pretty soon there’s nothing left.
You begin to ask yourself, “Will this be the death of me?”
Will I let this consume me?
You begin to start thinking yes.
You don’t care if you’re starving.
You don’t care if you begin to lose the ones around you.
Because after all the numbers are what truly make you happy.
But its no big deal, right?
You don’t care.
The other’s around you either took too long to notice or ignored it.
You’ll be fine, right?
After all, you’re only dying?
It’s just a number, right?
L.C. Anderson High School
9th