Who?

I want to be 6 years old again
So I can color and watch spongebob
On the living room couch
While my mom cooks in the kitchen
And I smell some type of cake
I don’t worry about anything
And I laugh when spongebob annoys squidward
Because it’s simply funny
There’s no deeper meaning
Life is simple

Instead I sit here on my bed
Back bent
Cross legged
Holding back tears that will never flow
Because it’s much too late
And I think of everything
And I think back of when I was 6
And I knew who I was
I was Anaïs
With 2 dots on the ï
But now I don’t know what that means

Maybe it was butchered
by one too many teacher or sub
Beyond recognition
Or maybe I killed it myself
Slitting its throat
And wringing out all the good
Like a dirty kitchen rag
So that all that’s left
Is a colorless and useless shell
Of what I could have been

But it doesn’t matter much
I think it’s too late anyways
Because I’m still sitting here
Back bent
Typing
Feeling like I can’t get out of bed
But I know I have to
Because I can’t let myself down
More than I already have
And I can’t die
So I guess I’ll have to survive


Anderson High School

11