I used to say that life is clear for me—
the crystal water of a shoreline,
bewitching blue
reflects against my face.
The water was still and tranquil,
as if it were a turquoise blanket,
the finest silk, caressing
in gentle motions.
A sapphire sky
and amber sun lay above me,
watching me meticulously.
I felt at peace for once.
But it turns out
it’s all some sick facade.
And that once clear water
turned murky and ill-lit,
hitting me with unforeseeable waves.
I wanted to move my gaze away from the water,
but I couldn’t move at all.
I was paralyzed, trapped in my body,
forced to watch helplessly.
Darkness clouded the sky,
numbing my skin
painting it
a pale porcelain.
I faded into the water without protest,
Leaving myself to sink
underneath the howling waves,
plaguing my body and suffocating my mind.
Deeper and deeper I drop,
choking on salt,
breathing in tides,
and embracing the water.