scraping away all of the paint
not stopping until it looks faint
useless scribbles going through my head
so many thoughts going unsaid
painting another layer with another shade
hoping people dont notice and let the mistakes fade
hoping they dont read further onto the meaning
but the signs are so obvious who am i kidding
a tortured mind they might call it
swallowing up the yellow paint to the mask happiness, hoping i fit
black and white to fill my life, still dont know what im aiming for
three nights without proper meals
i’ve become numb, dont know what life truly feels
sanity, i cant keep up for so long, but all i can say is sorry
but i just think i cant reach the day where i’ll see books with my story
painting without a reason
maybe right now’s just not my season
dont really have traces to leave
whats the point? dont got anything to do except to grieve
perfection, such beautiful lies
mind just filled with idiocies
secrets fill my gaze
how i wish i can just get out of this phase
how i hope for an escape
too much plans i’d have to scrape
four days without the voice i loved hearing
whats the point really? ive done nothing but crying
a window to my own mind
whats there to see, theres really nothing to find
but i’d be happy for a sense of being around you
but i guess i’ve lost that too
safe and home were words i always associated with you
then again, ive lost too much, whats there to paint except blue
a castle made out of sand
falling apart, no one to give me a hand
but time will end and i’ll forget our written chapter
knowing i can progress further
consume the blue pill while i forget it all
i guess i could say it’s my fault too
things are turning out bad, and i couldnt get through
you were turning grey and things werent turning out good for me
guess the better move was to let me be
im painting different colors, i dont think i can be true
thinking about ways to get through
going through the days without your voice
but there really was no going back, no more choices
though i had my wrongs, i’ve grown to understand
maybe things cant just go as planned
maybe i didnt have time to think this through
no more paint thats shaded blue