Month: December 2020

Rain
Many do not appreciate
what this world can do and make
out the window and through the trees
I feel the cool winter breeze
and then I then I think know whats coming
my favorite weather is about to start humming
I walk outside to my happy place
and tilt my head where the sky see’s my face
the longer I stay the more I understand
that this world is the true miracle land
I watch the way the water flows
down the street and through my toes
washing all my worries down the drain
until the next time I’m in the rain

It starts with a secret
And something wrong
An inch of distance and it splits
Bacteria growing and you are the microscope
A mass of nothing real,
Nothing you’ve ever seen before
And yet it falls into cliche
So easily labeled and so easily fixed,
Right?
Just a single appointment with a man and you are on a couch
And all of your problems are solved
And you try to keep it together because you aren’t allowed to let it go
In front of the people you know
Who you want to respect
And it’s just so hard because what can you do?
He isn’t there anymore
He is a memory and you have amnesia
An infectious love and he isn’t sick
My God, but he is the sickest of them all
It starts with a secret
And something wrong
And soon it becomes the secret
A tidbit shared here and there and then you are the gossip
And then the rift is between you and the others, too
People who don’t know anything make it something
You really wish it was what it looks like
Break your own heart, say you never loved him
And then he becomes a disease
Always there
A cold wet toad squatting on your chest
And he is just him but amplified because you are the speaker
Selling happiness one bag at a time in something strong
Something you bang down on the counter after
The longest day
And you have to make fun of it, because what else is there?
You just wanted a fun time and someone good
And look where you are now.
A family reunion and you are not smiling
A party and you are not there
And soon you aren’t invited
You let the sickness consume you
And it’s all because of him
All him
All him and then he leaves you even though he is the cancer
He is the disease
And you,
You would think when he went away it would go away too
But you’re stuck
A good man and he passes you by
Why was it always you?
And you don’t have any notifications in your phone
Can’t afford it, really
Medical bills sucked it out of you and so did yourself
Another man and he was good enough
But you were not good enough
And you’re alone.
One day he comes back to your door
Says he still loves you
You never loved him, but what sanctuary lies can be!
And he is there again and all of the leaves are out of your yard.
You never knew
That you as a person were so inconvenienced without him.
He helped you so much and he tells you
Tells you every day
And it is a bigger rift than before, but you are content
Content sitting in your little chair all alone
Because he is outside
And you never loved him.
You never loved him, but what sanctuary lies can be!

Poem 11/30/2020
I wake full of excitement;
The taste of coffee on my tongue
Winter Holiday lights
The smell of sausage In the oven;
On the table white powdered empanadas.
Like sweet packets of snow.
The chatter of Conversation, like a tidal wave.
When I open a gift; I realized that the real gift is surrounding me.

Exactly at 7:00 pm everyday, things change,
like they move in my room.
My fairy lights laugh and dance around in the dark.
My stuffed animal runs off the bed and starts to sing opera.
The picture of the turtle on my calendar comes to life and gracefully jumps into water.
My blankets come out of the cabinets and boogie their way across the hallway.
But if I look, the magic disappears. So at exactly 7:00, I close my door, close my window and sit in the hallway listening to all what my room can do.