Poet Voice

I have a problem trying to find my poet voice
Powerful, provocative, presenting
Is what it’s supposed to be
So why does it fluctuate?
Going up and down in tone
Never constant or strong
I want to put meaning into every word and not hold back
why can’t I find it?
I have my words
I am able to speak
So why can’t I hear the voice inside me out loud?
Speak speak
I want to speak up
Pronounce everything properly
I don’t want to fumble, stutter, or talk too fast
It has to be perfect
Rehearse, repeat, remember
Why can’t I remember my own poem?
It’s not enough to simply write or remember the poem
They are of my own mind
A piece of me
I am the poem, so messing up isn’t an option
Because…
What is a poet without their voice?
What is a poem without a flavorful twang of verbal expression?
A stagnant sea of lost letters perhaps, which I forbid my poems to become
So, these words are for nobody’s throat except mine
These are the lyrics of my desperate, wailing soul
I may be
Wavering, uncertain, anxious
While trying to portray eloquence
Head high, standing tall, eyes a universe away
I open the world that is my poet voice
Resounding such a willful and fierce prowess that when read only my voice is heard, my emotions, simply me as a whole should ring through the heads of those who relate or empathize with my poems
Yes, I am trying to find my poet voice