Month: October 2022

That I should be without it for a second is unthinkable–
this love which so weighs my shoulders and pulls me to you.
I dream of you in the lapses between bouts of obsession. (These
last throughout my waking hours; my only rest is sleep and even then
you manage to appear, undiluted and vital.)
My heart, my body, my soul, they follow you,
like chicks following a mother hen. You lead me places
I had not the pleasure of knowing before, vast oases filled only with
your image. Take me by the hand; only with such closeness
May my fevered lungs breathe. If not for the Earth’s refusal,
each night we would sink beneath its crust, drawn together.
I would apologize a thousand times over for laying a finger on you
if you hadn’t pardoned me with your own.
I love you. I hope, somewhere, you exist.

So we kiIl each other and call it glory.
The forest sweeps around the road to our street,
A commanding sort of silence
That lets you hear its presence. She takes me out.
Now the dogs are awake, the world is cold.
Our heroes are dead. I want to kiss her.

With someone like me, she says,
You have to tell me each day who we are,
And I’ll do my best to remember yesterday’s answer.
Nine teeth on the ground. I found out
That with your cheek to the pavement,
You can hear the hum of each train as it comes.

Her tires are smooth. Surely
When hell freezes over, we’ll skate right across.
How can I explain?
This winter, we’ll see God and pass him by.
Let me let you sleep.

Softly, softly

That night, I shed three tears
For the neighbor’s boy.
The nail polish chipped the next day,
Deep red flakes scattered across the bed.

He was made up of doors like bricks.
Each one shattered as he shattered.
We sat together on the porch, his chest
Heaving, back against the splinters.

A black eye as your father shook hands
With my face. I heard the contract in his fist;
Stay away at all costs, in exchange for life.
Get that gay sh-t out of my sight. All for a kiss.

There’s something about our place,
Sun-warmed and smelling
Of Orange-Glo cleaner. Your hands,
Down my throat, could touch my soul.

Someday, we’ll clean the dread from the rug,
The tears from the cracks in the floor.
Maybe we’ll get married. Maybe we’ll be happy.
They’re lies both of us told, but neither could forgive.

I thought about what you had said,
The words in the glint in your eyes.
Write me farewell in the cigarette smoke.
I’ll sing it back, softly, softly.

Deep in the jungle
There was a big rumble
A mythic creature appears
Very hairy neck
Great lengthy legs
I can smell the smoke in the air
What could it be
Something from hell
A burning giraffe appears
I ring the bell in surender
Such a scary thing
Whipping his neck
Burning everything in sight
From across the ocean
A tsunami starts to form
Coming out of the water
Emerges a frost monkey
The air cools to frost
20 feet tall and frozen inside
As he marches across the water it turns to ice
The giraffe pretends to be brave
But we all know he’s not
You smell the beef in the air
The giraffe can win but at what price
As a war breaks out
The frost monkey gets burnt out
In the distance I see a great big wave
The afghan tiger arrives to make both of them his slave
He is way too mighty
And way too clean
It’s crazy to think that he’s still a teen
He is him
Severing these animal up I thought it was a cuisine
Little did I know afghan tiger worked for the man
The man’s so strong
He lives in the gym
He’s some gloomy
The rumor going around is he kills these beast for fun
He’s so evil
I hate him so much
He sends his men after me
l know I’ll die
So i’m going say bye bye

My life is an erupting volcano,
hot and fiery and scorching to the touch.
Maddening arguments that burn myself and others.
Lava flowing so fast I can’t slow down and see it.
Smoke clouding my eyes and unraveling before me.
Erupting whenever I see the woman that is called mother.
A fierce and fiery look in her eyes makes me tremble.
Fireballs of words hurled at each other.
The aftermath is just lonely black dust.
Dust covering my face and choking me.
Standing in the stillness before the next eruption.

Depression.

Depression is the thing staring down on you from above.
Never blink.
Like a never-ending staring contest with your mind.

Watching, Waiting for the right time.
Filling you up with anxiety and sadness.

A locked door.
The only way to unlock it is the key.
The key to the light outside the darkened room.

The room that stands alone.
Trapping souls one by one.
Until they disappear.

By one snap of your fingers.
It all goes away.

Gone
Gone
Gone

Life hurts

I waved my hand
Picking up a long-handled shovel,
I turned back. There was no blood on it,
And it looked harmless enough laying there all clean and bright.
Burying my face in the iron-grey hair,
I cried and begged god
Not to let my grandfather die.
I had the Frisco Railroad on my left,
And the Illinois river on my left.
On one occasion I found
A beautiful knife stuck in the bark of a sycamore tree, forgotten by a careless fisherman.
The cut grew so big I could’ve laid down on it.
I couldn’t wait any longer.