Growing Old

Growing Old

Today I’m a teenager
The freedom
the moodiness
falling in love
It all feels so real now
Sitting at home wanting to cry for random reasons
Like someone eating all the cereal
My feelings vary
Like a roller coaster of emotions

Today I’m an adult
Enjoying life
mad at life
annoyed at life
Nothing ever stays the same
You will feel one thing
Then it changes
In the matter of a second
Out on the town enjoying a nice dinner
All the sudden
I am crying my eyes out
Never knowing why

Today I’m in my middle ages of life
Becoming old
everything has changed now
Getting on to my kids
Going to back in time
When I would argue
Or
Not do something I was told
Then my mom would say…
I will understand one day
It’s all starting to make sense after all
Like a million pieces coming together
Making my life that much easier

Today I’m a grandma
Feeling like I’m no longer in control of my life
Sitting at home
using a cane
taking naps every 30 minutes
My body chooses
not me
Feeling like I’m happy inside
But not knowing what’s happening on the outside

Soon I will not be with you
Never knowing when
Never knowing how
It’s not up to me
It’s not up to you
It’s not up to anyone