i can’t dare to yearn for you
so instead i’ll cross my fingers behind my back
stare up at the stars
and wish that you’d shatter me
wish that you’d wrap your hands around my throat and squeeze
and with every last ounce of my soul
i wish it would break you too
i don’t dare to dream of you
but if i did
i’d wake in the dark of every night with tear-stained cheeks
arisen from visions of my own blood spilled
all over your polished hardwood floors,
your carefully manicured hands,
your open mouth.
you’d lick your bloody lips and i’d follow a drop of crimson down the column of your throat
look up into your uncaring eyes
and make you watch the life leave mine
i won’t dare to speak to you
but i looked you in the eyes once
you held no spark of recognition there for me
(though i swear we knew each other in some other life)
(i won’t blame you for forgetting)
i groveled at your altar
dirtied the knees of my brand new slacks trying to make you feel worshipped
‘cause i know it’s what you crave
your face gave no emotion away
save for the vaguest shadow of quiet displeasure
you’re a greek goddess
carved into bleached white marble
unknowing and uncaring of me
your starving devotee