Pirouette

Dance”
My mother would say
Each step was a look away
From the thoughts that surrounded me
As the music finally bounded
Who I was to become
5 year old me was filled with jumping and leaping
The rhythm holding back my weeping.

“Dance”
My mother would say
As she cooked dinner that day
My face flushed with the rednesses of our tomatoes
Although my stomach, filled with rainbows,
Begged my feet for sweet relief
13-year-old me knew what the heart wanted
Although my see-through reputation had already parted

“Dance”
My mother would say
As a text reflected into me like prey
As it burnt into my eyes like pepper spray
I couldn’t hear myself think
As the dance floor was covered in green and pink
And spilt around me was a drink
17-year-old me would tell myself “Not today”
Although I knew that idea would turn grey

“Dance”
He would say
As we stood in the ray of the refrigerator light
“Please, just a dance”
And almost like I was in a trance
I started to advance into a dance
Releasing shackles of fear
In hopes of never reappearing
23-year-old me danced
Danced until my P.Js were soaked with my sweat
Danced for all the memories I hadn’t met yet
And the one I was making with my silhouette

My mother spoke to me one day
She asked to dance
And she knew with just a glance
“Of course”
I said
And I danced
For every baby babble
For every whiff of her dinner that day
For every new refrigerator we bought
Although I may not have loved them very much
I danced for them