Category: 09th

Blue (Version One)

It taught her to see in color
To see the world anew
Her life used to be much duller
But now gray was replaced by blue

Days that used to be a blur
But now time stands still
Dreams of happier times would defer
Her life was only going downhill

Happiness was wrapped in a capsule
She holds her entire future in her hands
More soldiers to fight her battle
She begins to push through the badlands

A world once surrounded by black and white
She is now unstoppable, she found her reason to fight

L.C. Anderson High School

9th

Promise

Promise that you’ll be alright

Promise I’ll hold you tight through the night

I’ll always be there for you

Promise that you won’t go blue

Promise that I’ll be you’re protector

I promise that I’ll let no one hurt her

promise, Promise, PROMISE

Now I have nothing left to give

But I promise

Dedicated to my Promise

L.C. Anderson High School

9th

I Am Dead

I am dead

I wonder what it is like to be alive
To feel
I know I am not alone
I hear the silent screams of others when they are alone
The silent plea for help
I’m like them
When alone the tears fall like a waterfall

I am dead

I pretend to be okay
How are you feeling
Fine
Lie
How has your day been
Good
Lie
No one can tell
It’s a mask
The perfect mask
I am cracked, broken
But fine

I am dead

I feel invisible, unwanted
I touch and break everything in my presense
I just want to be loved
But don’t deserve it
I worry I am not good enough

I am dead

My mind is a dark place
If you were to enter it you would get lost in a sea of horror and terror
The night terrors
Inner demons scary enough to cause a heart attack
They have haunted me for years
Silently creeping through the night
Moving for hours
When they leave peace comes

I am dead

I am a coward
NO!
Act strong
NO!
I AM A COWARD!
It’s true
The truth always surfaces
I’m afraid, frustrated , anxious, UNHAPPY
Conceal it, conceal it, conceal it
Let them know and you fail
Let them know and it makes you stupid
I’m scared
Scared for those I care about
Scared of myself
Scared of my mind
The potential it has to get lost in itself

I am dead

I feeling it building
Uh oh, the lump starts to form
My eyes hurt
Run!
Be alone
You have to make it
A tear falls
Almost there
Now find a place to hide
The bathroom
Lock the door
The bedroom
Block the door
Now let it out
Don’t make any sound
They can’t hear you
It ocerwhelms my heart
It aches
It hurts physically
Relieve it
Relieve it
There!
Scratch over and over again
It hurts but feels good
It’s red but feels good
They rise
Focus on that
Ow
Keep going
Stop
Focus on the new pain
What emotional one?
Oh no
It’s worse than I thought
Don’t worry
It’ll just rise then fall
Rise then fall
You’re okay
It is getting better

I am dead

Oh no

It’s building again
Stop
Never
My breath shakes
I need a distraction
My arm sure itches
SCRATCH IT
I begin to run it
NO SCRATCH IT YOU IDIOT
Fine
I use my nails and dig into my skin
It feels so good
Scratch harder, faster
Okay
My arm turns red
I continue moving faster
What was that?
I look down and see raw skin
That’s going to hurt in the morning
It heals
But it leaves something
A reminder
A scar
Anxiety is a pain

I am dead

They always seem to follow me
Their curiosity
Piercing my soul
Whats your name
Don’t look at them
Mari
Please don’t say something else
Where did you dmtransfer from
Shoot
Short and simple
T.E.A
Cool
Thank God
It is over

I am dead

Stupid
Coward
Afraid
Ugly
Fat
Anxious
Evil
Psycho
Scared
Idiot
Pretty soon you start to believe it
You just have to keep telling yourself it
Stupid
Coward
Afraid
Ugly
Fat
Anxious
Evil
Psycho
Scared
Idiot
Say it over and over again
Stop
STOP
STOP
STOP!

I am dead.

L.C. Anderson High School

9th

I hate you

I hate you,
With evey fibers of my soul,
But you are me, and I am you.
I don’t know what I hate it about you.
Maybe it’s the way you try to steal my boyfriend.
Or how you are overly nice and pure,
While I’m very strange and rude.
Or it’s how you make me want to barf,
Everytime I hear your annoying voice.
Or how you like everything that I hate.
I don’t like it when you talk about how,
You “failed” Geomeotry test,
Or how you “draw” really good,
but only traced anime things.
I hate it every time I talk about something,
You have to put your whiny pathetic opinon in.
I hate you and I will never stop hating you…

Anderson High School

9

Suspended

*Authors Statement: This poem may raise concerns, but I wrote it for my friend who was going through a difficult time. Things are better now. I’d like to share this poem to raise awareness and let people know that they’ll never be alone.

Laying in bed wishing I was dead
unable to decipher the thoughts in my head
like running water under the ice
boredom consumes me it’s grip like a vice
the tug of impulse at the roll of a dice
a minute decision freedom is nice
‘Just come to terms with it is their advice’
So when will I get the rest of my rights
‘Don’t act like you’re locked in a cage’
They hiss at me with their pent up rage
Meekly looking up and away-What if it is all untrue
and looking at me is looking at you
what do I see, please tell me
everyone says it’s the ugly truth
But that’s not what I see when I look at you
They won’t explain so neither will I
back to the feeling of wanting to die
sweet release, comforting fleece
Would there be a funeral? Who would come?
Remembering them with their lively dreams
guilt at the thought of tears making streams
she would miss me, and so would the others
bowing their heads and closing the shutters

To Iason

Ann Richards

9

Living Between Worlds

I was beautiful, no one cared about my height, or how I looked liked
But by the high standards of beauty that no one can reach Except models, by those standards and my height was a laugh
I was accepted at once in my family for my sexual orientation, they didn’t think less of me
My family still thinks I’m confused my mom thinks it’s disgusting to like two genders that’s great
In my dream, I could do anything, Play the piano perfectly, sing with a great voice
But in reality I can’t do any of that
I’ d live in this world if I could
I wish I could live in my dreams
All I want are for my dreams to become…
A reality

Ann Richards School

9th

Heart Strings

It started with the doubt that gnawed in my mind to the core
then the searing self loathing leaving my soul in ashes
But it was the loneliness that enabled the
shears to snip strings to shreds

It sounds like your voice
tangled in my thoughts
The shadow of your arms
wrapped around my waist
It sounds like the tug of a smirk when you whisper
into my neck and me into yours
the feel of your fingers makes shudder
a look at your lips and my heart flutters
The way we’d lean into each other

After all we never went through

Ann Richards

9

Proof of Fact and Lies

“It never happened”

The words are burnt onto my tongue
Its burn, a constant reminder of the truth.
An ache in your chest, a stinging in the eyes,
the flashbacks proof of fact and lies.

I hear sirens blare its sound throughout the hall,
yet I know they’re not there to save me.

The end is near, I fear, but with a final push,
I jump up, racing, the stairs growing nearer as sweat and tears blind me.

The resolution, I gather, will come as long as I don’t listen to those who yell,
“It never happened”

Ann Richards

9th

Past, Unknown

Tears stream down the unconscious child’s cheeks,
as her hair,
matted with dried blood,
flows gently in the harsh winter air.

Her mother’s arms,
loosely wrapped around the girl’s small frame,
are shaking with fear.

Fear,
not for the innocence bleeding in her hands,
but for herself,
and her own clear conscience.

The destination grows nearer,
as does the child’s safety.

When,
at last,
the mother walks in.

Hesitantly,
she hands the child,
her own flesh and blood,
blood that is now stained onto her hands, clothing, wall,
to a nurse.

The events that follow are vague,
as is what had occurred before.

Still, the truth is hidden in the family,
whispers and glances prove to be evidence,
and tears,
fact through the fiction.

All that is known will be revealed through time,
but, until then,
the child shall live her life without thoughts of her past.
Without the torment of not knowing the truth.

Blissfully unaware.

Ann Richards

9th