Category: 10th

Now

I used to feel like life was a race
And everyone else was moving forward
But I couldn’t even open my eyes to see how far behind I was

Now,
I belt out song lyrics with my friends
I find the joy in little things like arcade games and stolen smiles
Now, I allow myself to have good experiences

I am so much more than what I was
So much more than I used to be
I am now

The Movie Around Me

The musty lighting
The crowded halls
The constant chatter
Running to my class
A typical school setting

The dim lights
On a restaurant night
The laughter and conversations
All around me
The opening shot to a dinner scene

The quiet conversations
In a room
My friends and I
Experienced by me
A casual dialogue between characters

Through the walks of life
I witness the elements
Of the stories of other people
As others witness elements of mine
As our shared elements connect us
As Shakespeare once said,
“All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women are merely players”

Thoughts

All these thoughts in my head
When I just want to go to bed
I question, wonder and ponder
Life that was yesterday, today, and tomorrow
I question my future,
I question my past
Scared that I’m on the path
My thoughts are scattered
Glass that has shattered
I try to leave a trail
But it’s like hearing braille
So every time I fail
I try to go back
Eventually it all goes black
I feel blind
Lost in the abyss that is my mind
All these things in my head
When I just want to go to bed

The Truth

I sit in showers
Alone for hours
Keeping my brave face is harder than it seems
Keeping this smile that gleams
I can’t go back
For with myself I’ve made a pact
Fact and fiction become one
When everything weighs a ton
It took years to perfect this mask
Now hiding is my only task
I can’t let it out
Because with it, rejection will soon sprout
Certain rules I must abide
Make me have to hide
So my hands are tied
What do I do?
To tell you the truth,
I sit in showers
Alone for hours

Laughing

Something silly comes up
Your brain hears it
Sorts it
It falls under the placement of
Giggle
You feel it
First in your stomach
Then your muscles tense
Your throat tightens
Your ears and cheeks burn
A small squeak is heard
A smile spreads
Your dimples deepen
A breath escapes
Then comes the sound
First quiet
Then louder
And louder
Until the tears come
Your stomach burns
You start to sound like a barnyard animal
When it ends
You’re breathless and sore
Wondering what it was all for
And you forgot what it was all for

Rain

Rain brings forth all 5 senses at once
Makes them more acute
It makes you see the still, cloudy, grey sky
Treetops swaying in the tender wind
It makes you hear the babbling blue birds
Telling each other to bunker down
To protect their offspring
It makes you smell new and old life,
Beautiful bluebonnets blooming
Dead leaves from fall being washed away
It makes you feel the smothering muggy air
The tiny raindrops on your skin
Too small to be seen
Too big not to be felt
It makes you taste the new fresh air being blown gently your direction
Rain brings forth all 5 senses at once
Makes them more acute

Dreams

Dreams
The thought gleams
An unknown story every night
All while you are snuggled up tight
A vacation from real life
Every night
Except tonight
My mind won’t take flight
It won’t let me escape
So while everybody else gets to dream
I’m more awake than I seem
Stuck in a cruel thing we all face every day
Reality…
At least I can fantasize about dreaming
And leaving my thoughts gleaming

Midnight

Midnight
Everyone else is tucked in tight
Silence fills the air
Suffocating in its stillness
Pacing, pacing, pacing
My thoughts racing
My heart going a mile a minute
There’s my bed…
I should be in it…
But I can’t sit still

Midnight
Everyone else is tucked in tight
Not a soul in sight
I roam the house
It’s the same in every room
Stale, silent air
I want to scream
Fill the void
The black hole that is my house
Devoid of any signs of life
But it’s midnight
And everybody enjoys their dreams
Except me
I’m drowning in my silent screams