Category: 2022-23 Submissions

I am crazy
I wonder what’s going on out there
I hear nothing
I see darkness
I want freedom
I am crazy

I pretend I like it here
I feel very cold
I touch darkness
I worry what will happen
I cry over my knees
I am sad

I understand no one loves me
I say “help me”
I dream someone loves me
I try to escape
I hope I escape
I am Stefen F. Austin

The little paws and ears peaking through
the covers one giant wag send all on the ground
the sleepy dog jumps down waging her tail
as she goes to see them all in a room.

July
Tonight I look at Ara
I swear a vow of allegiance,
To the altar
Just as the gods did before they went to war.
Between the dropseed, I believe I have the best view
Other then the old road south of my feet, it is quiet
A dim yellow brushes the corner of my eyes, interrupting my pledge
“Are you dead?”
I sit up from the grasses, dry and itchy, as comforting as home
I don’t respond
The lights roll away
I go back to Ara

August
Tonight I look at Hercules
The war is just beginning
And the boy Hercules is arising from the mortal village
A vision of strength disguised in a teenage body
It’s hot out tonight
The old road is loud with cars
first football game of the season
The lights are back
They stop this time, turn off
The dropseed shivers and rustles at something new
Flattening the grass as he lays beside me
“So you’re not dead”
His presence is a contrast to the weather
I turn away
Back to Hercules

September
Tonight I look at Capricornus
Battle is waging
The goat battering others with it’s horns
The lights were here before me this time
The boy already laying in the grass
“It’s Capricornus tonight”
It’s dark so he doesn’t see me smile
Or maybe he does?
His face is hidden by the dark sky above us
I lay down
I was cold before, but next to him it’s warm
We look together
Back to Capricornus

October
Tonight I look at Pegasus
The war is won, the gods rejoice
More stars are visible tonight then usually
But I’m not as focused
His name is Dawnie, like the morn’
I call him Annie
We talk in school now, he’s a grade ahead of me
And although tonight feels perfect
Not to hot, not to cold
And the stars are shimmering
I find myself gazing at something else
But back the stars
Back to Pegasus

November
It’s too cold to go stargazing
But I go anyway
I lost track of what constellation is there tonight
Only what boy is
We share a blanket, but don’t dare glimpse at the sky
The dropseed like the soft pillows I imagine in his room
I cry when I get home, sore
I missed the stars
December-March is too cold for stars
But I’ll find something else to look at.
Back to Annie

July
It’s Sunday night
I take the keys, recite the address
Glass shatters
Mom says to get out, to go to the church
Before things get bad
So I drive
Down the old road, towards the school and the chapel
A body catches my eyes
A girl laying between the dropseed
I roll to a stop, my lights dimming to yellow
My window comes down
Creaking with the thickness of the wind
“Are you dead?”
She sits up, and points to the sky
Stargazer.
I drive away

August
It’s Thursday night
I walk out of the house bruised, but not badly
Mom says to get out again, Dad drives in from the bar
So I take the keys
It’s hot out tonight
The old road is busy with cars
Copies of one and other, herding in the high school stadium
First football game of the season
I would go, but I have a better idea
I slow, then stop
Turn my lights off so she can see
The dropseed rustles as I walk deeper in
And I lay down next to her
“So you’re not dead”
She turns away
But I don’t

September
It’s Friday night
I’m bleeding when I leave, but I don’t mind
I punched Dad today, he cut my brow
The sun is setting when I get there
Before her
I’m laying in the grass when she walks up
“It’s tonight”
I had bought a star chart
She smiles, but doesn’t know I notice
Or maybe she does?
I feel her next to me
I forget my problems, for I’m next to her
I forgot my cut, staining the grasses a cold vermillion
We look together
Up at

October
It’s Saturday Night
The Police are here, Dad will go away for a little while
The stars what is happening, and shine a little brighter
But I’m not as focused on them
Her name is Athena, like the goddess
No surprise she likes the stars, different stars then most other girls focus on
I call her Enna
We talk in school now, she’s a grade below me
Tonight is perfect
Not to hot, not to cold
And Mom is safe
I want to think about her, but my thoughts keep drifting
Back to Enna
We lay there for a while
And watch the stars

November
It’s to go stargazing
But I go anyway
I bring blankets for us, for protection from the cold
I bring other types of protection too
I need her
We share a blanket, the dropseed acting as a pillow around us
I smile on my way home, sore
I love her
She is my stars now
December-March is too cold for stars
But I have something else to look at.
Enna.

(Context: The descriptions of how the constellations relate to Greek mythology compare to what domestic violence Dawnie is experiencing at home, acting as an extended metaphor. They also are constellations best viewed during the month they’re talked about.)

I stare and look yet so beautiful
You’re silent but free
I wish I could be that but that can never be me
You go miles and miles yet you die
But start a new life
My beautiful monarch butterfly

Everything in this neighborhood has an assigned color
Grass is green
Thanks to the automated sprinkler system hidden in the
Dark, brown, soil
Flowers are pink
Roads are black
And houses
Are blue and gray

The sharp angles on each second story roof hurt my eyes and
I look away, instead staring at
Identical street signs
Identical sidewalks
Identical trimmed bushes
In front of houses
Houses painted
Blue and gray

Every window is covered in heavy duty window shades
To block out
Sunlight
Blue skies
Neighbors
And anything else that happens to pass by
White shades on empty windows
Empty windows on walls
Walls, painted
Blue and gray

In some neighborhoods, the houses are eclectic
Like the buttons you gathered from
Under the couch cushions
Tucked between books on the book shelf
Fallen off shirts that are too small
But here
All the buttons are from the same factory
Sewn in neat rows
The same size
Shape
And color
Average
Circular
Blue and gray

It is easy
To get lost here
In this maze of identical streets
The same house
The same yard
Over and over again
Blue and gray

Our world is fading
We are fading into the carpet
That covers old hotel rooms
The random dots on the carpet describe our whole universe
Everything we have ever known
Will be walked over
The carpet
Is the color of soldiers uniforms
The carpet
Is the color of the houses
The carpet
Is blue and gray

Every house
On this block
Is blue
And gray

I wish that I was rich
I wish that I owned a horse
I wish that I could do the splits
I wish that I had a puppy
I wish that I had more board games

For christmas is here,
Let’s go spread some cheer,
Let’s go have some cookies and pet the reindeer,
Let’s go get a tree,
Let’s wrap it with glee,
Let’s fill it with pictures of you and of me,
Let’s go straight to sleep,
Let’s not make a peep,
Let’s hope Santa Claus comes with presents to reap,
Let’s wake up next morn’,
Let’s run without warn,
Let’s pick up our presents with gift wrapping torn,
“A phone! A hat! My favorite toy!”
Said all of the kids with all smiles of joy.
Let’s all go and play,
Let’s not waste the day,
Spending our Christmas the jolliest way.
The feeling is clear,
Best time of the year,
Do not shed a tear,
For Christmas is here!

I am so tired
So very, very tired
My back hurts from crouching
My muscles hurt from strain
My arms ache from rowing
My eyelids feel heavy
From the moist, humid air
Surrounding our small canoe
My friend sits behind me
Her oar,
Licking the water and splashing
The sides of our boat
Our small sail
Just for show
I’m watching ahead
My oar, just barely kissing the surface
The fog is so dense
The air thick with liquid
Gray clouds drift about
I can only see the dark blue of the lake
Just two feet ahead of me,
My friend gives a sad sigh from behind
She is exhausted
We have been rowing all night
And all day
I close my eyes
To give my throbbing head
A few minutes to catch up
Suddenly I hear something
A sound so faint
It is the soft splash of an oar as it hits the water
Not too far away
I open my eyes,
I look around
My friend hears it too
The sound becomes louder
Through the fog I see
Another boat
Rowing at a steady pace through the mist
But then they drift away
I am about to follow them
About to say “Wait!”
About to lift my oar
And paddle furiously after them
But I don’t have to
Because just then I see the faintest
Bit of light
I can see it on the fog
The droplets glisten with the glow
Like sparkling diamonds
Floating through the misty air toward me
The light comes from a distant shape
Tall and elegant
Yet sharp and foreboding
The fog gradually disappears
And I can see the boats
All heading towards the same destination
A Great
Gray
Castle

Floating

On the Lake

The wild cat wakes from its nap.
The tiger roams the forest for their next meal.
He lowers his head ready for attack.
He pounces at the small rodent silencing their squeals.
The birds jump and start to flap.
The tiger kneels,
And feasts on his snack.

All thats left is the bone.
Admiring the land,
Looking at the place he calls home,
He stands.
He lays down and groans.
Places his head down on the moist land.