Category: 2020-21 Submissions

I am alive

I am here in this moment living one of the billions of lives in this world.
Looking into the stars; as they stare back they wink at me as if they know something I don’t.
The feeling of this glacial breeze and tender
grass can never be perfectly replicated ever again.
The sky so dark but somehow flawlessly lit.
I bathe in this moment, a moment that is far too little to become a memory.

And I realize how perfectly meaningless it all is.

I reach for the sky as if it’s going to take my
hand.

I feel infinite.
Nothing could spoil this perfectly meaningless moment.

My head so utterly empty, my eyes just observing all the awful beauty of this world.
Here I am so alive, but my body lays lifeless.
I feel myself ascend into the stars, and I glimpse upon myself for what I truly am.
A body that means everything to someone, and utterly nothing to another.

There I am.
So flawed, so perfect, so meaningless.

Home, great

We’re stuck at home, great
We have to wear masks, great
We can’t go outside, great
We have to be six feet away from other people, great
Hand sanitizer, more like Anti-Rona juice

We’re stuck at home, great
Haven’t seen my friends in a while, great
Can’t really talk to them, great
School is online, great
Can’t see my family, great
Just, please wear a mask, that would be great.

home: a tiny arch in the wall of a house
this house belongs to a mouse!
the walls and floors of the bigger house belong to a man,
who owns every product made by ray-ban.

the man is very rich, obviously,
but the life of the mouse isn’t always filled with glee.

the mouse must be very quiet, you see,
because no one knows about him except for you and me.
as he scuttles soundlessly, softly along the smooth walls like a stealth mission spy,
he sniffs the air for pumpkin pie.

there! as he turns into the kitchen,
he comes face to face with a ginger-colored kitten!
he jumps onto the counter, and grabs a slice of pie.
as he sprints home, he chuckles, and says, “my, my!”

and this, you see is the life of a mouse,
who lives in a 4 sqft. house.
constantly on the run, in every biome,
always to come back home.

Who Am I you ask thinking aloud
what am i meant to be you look in the mirror
what if i don’t want to be different from the crowd
you think things not getting clearer
am i a boy or a girl my identity undefined
am i she or him on the who is really inside
why am i like this your thoughts intertwined
confused you stand there and carelessly quietly cried
who do i like boys, girls, all, none
you are confused with your feelings
is it wrong to like more than just one
you feel like telling others is just too revealing
so you will hide unable to share your emotions
forever drowning in your underhanded ocean.

The blue jay sang,
The penguin swayed.
Birds are beautiful,
And dutiful.
They have wings,
And can sing.
They are gentle,
Can be monumental.
Birds are beautiful,
And Glorious.

Clouds cover the sky
You sit by the window,
Waiting
The rain comes
Pouring, Soaking
Everything it touches
Lightning flashes
Light peeks through the clouds
Rain starts to subside
You see a rainbow
You go outside
Signs of life everywhere
Birds
Foxes
Sparrows
Poking their heads out
Life goes on

2:00 pm – wishing on stars is not real, I’ve tried

4:00 pm – Why is mom getting worried

6:00 pm – Dad turned on the news after work today, bad idea

8:00 pm – the house is silent except for the comforting words of my father as my mother weeps until they both start crying

10:00 pm – My little sister came into my room crying saying she was scared, I think she is just lonely

12:00 am – I miss the embraces of my friends

2:00 am – why do I miss a home that i once new but now I can’t remember

4:00 am – Everyone’s finally asleep, I look out the window, waiting for the next car to pass by

6:00 am – Mom yells time for school, no sleep once again

8:00 am – I put on the smile that is not mine but a strangers, a very familiar stranger

10:00 am – I stare at the floor, someone waves their hand in front of my face

12:00 pm – It will get better I tell myself picking at my food

And it did. A lot. Maybe wishing on stars does work.

I can do it

I CAN do it

I can DO it

I can do IT

Nope
not today

No

I should have done it

Next time

nope

Rain
Many do not appreciate
what this world can do and make
out the window and through the trees
I feel the cool winter breeze
and then I then I think know whats coming
my favorite weather is about to start humming
I walk outside to my happy place
and tilt my head where the sky see’s my face
the longer I stay the more I understand
that this world is the true miracle land
I watch the way the water flows
down the street and through my toes
washing all my worries down the drain
until the next time I’m in the rain

It starts with a secret
And something wrong
An inch of distance and it splits
Bacteria growing and you are the microscope
A mass of nothing real,
Nothing you’ve ever seen before
And yet it falls into cliche
So easily labeled and so easily fixed,
Right?
Just a single appointment with a man and you are on a couch
And all of your problems are solved
And you try to keep it together because you aren’t allowed to let it go
In front of the people you know
Who you want to respect
And it’s just so hard because what can you do?
He isn’t there anymore
He is a memory and you have amnesia
An infectious love and he isn’t sick
My God, but he is the sickest of them all
It starts with a secret
And something wrong
And soon it becomes the secret
A tidbit shared here and there and then you are the gossip
And then the rift is between you and the others, too
People who don’t know anything make it something
You really wish it was what it looks like
Break your own heart, say you never loved him
And then he becomes a disease
Always there
A cold wet toad squatting on your chest
And he is just him but amplified because you are the speaker
Selling happiness one bag at a time in something strong
Something you bang down on the counter after
The longest day
And you have to make fun of it, because what else is there?
You just wanted a fun time and someone good
And look where you are now.
A family reunion and you are not smiling
A party and you are not there
And soon you aren’t invited
You let the sickness consume you
And it’s all because of him
All him
All him and then he leaves you even though he is the cancer
He is the disease
And you,
You would think when he went away it would go away too
But you’re stuck
A good man and he passes you by
Why was it always you?
And you don’t have any notifications in your phone
Can’t afford it, really
Medical bills sucked it out of you and so did yourself
Another man and he was good enough
But you were not good enough
And you’re alone.
One day he comes back to your door
Says he still loves you
You never loved him, but what sanctuary lies can be!
And he is there again and all of the leaves are out of your yard.
You never knew
That you as a person were so inconvenienced without him.
He helped you so much and he tells you
Tells you every day
And it is a bigger rift than before, but you are content
Content sitting in your little chair all alone
Because he is outside
And you never loved him.
You never loved him, but what sanctuary lies can be!