Vision+Voice

I’m from my computer
From my Wii and my Switch
I am from souvlaki and mushroom risotto.

I am from my mom and my dad
I am from the vegetable garden that my family made
I am from my soft and comfy bed

Jax
My giant furball
Lazy as a sloth
Barks for no reason and thats what i love.

Took him outside
Then he got lost
Found him with a guy
What a stupid dog
Thats what I love.

He poops in the house
Then he went blind
He was in pain.
We knew it was time.
Thats what I didn’t love.

We said our goodbyes.
Drove him away.
Tears down are eyes.
But we knew we put him in a better place.
And that’s what I love.

It feels like we’re going backwards. I don’t know whether
It was possible for us to get back on track.
I’ve spent so much time thinking about us, together.

My current state was never meant to last forever.
My hair knotted and strayed, heart pounding, voice beginning to crack.
Compared to you, I was never as clever.

But no matter your praises, I know you see me as an error.
A stray 0 in a binary, a malformed spirit that should be thrown back
Into the great beyond, wherever and ever.

For a second I thought you would reach for me, cut the tether.
I would’ve welcomed it, given you the go ahead myself. It’s retribution, payback;
I always hated disappointing you. You would, you would reach for me.

Instead you stand there, still as stone. You tell me never.
“We’re one and the same. Though you I do not lack.”
“I could never hate you. You are a part of me, forever.”

I can’t rationalize it. You and I are the same flesh and blood, but I am lesser.
How is it that you can see and stack
Our differences and still say that you cherish and pleasure
The thing that you hate most, your mark of falsehood altogether?

Nature

Up
Above
My head
I hear leaves
Rustling in the
Autumn breeze.

Down
Below my
Legs i see
Flowers of all
Colors and sizes.

Over
The hill
I feel bark
From a willow
Tree thats blowing
In the cold breeze.

Under
The tree
I smell the
Fresh smell
Of books with
Ink still wet.

Deep
In my
Heart
Beating
So loud it
Is like a motor.

I really
Believe
That we
Have a
Protector
Watching
Over us when
We
Are alone
When we are
In nature by our
Sides all the time
Who makes our plants
Grow who is our mother
When we are in nature.

My time capsule is full of church music
the kind you find late at night
when everyone else has gone home to bed

My time capsule is full of silence
pencils without paper, cries without voices
apologies without words

My time capsule is full of impossibles
the days our most desperate wishes were enough
the night we were both looking up at the moon

My time capsule is filled with almosts
the envelopes that were never opened
the letters that were never written

My time capsule is full of nearbys
melodies that sound the same a thousand miles away
whispered prayers that the stars carry to you

My time capsule is full of faraways
everyday I promise myself soon, soon
these church walls can take me anywhere I want if I close my eyes

My time capsule is full of what-ifs
somebody sings to me wait and see
so here I am, wide awake at night, waiting to see.

Hello, fellow butterfly in a cage.
I am so, so sorry.
This was never how it was supposed to be.
I wish I could take all the pain away.
The world is lying to you, do you hear me?
This is a part of you that never has to change.
You are beautiful.
Love does not insist on its own way of doing things.
Love rejoices in the truth, and you know what that is for you.
Hold on, butterfly.
Keep going.
One day soon, you will fly again.

My sister is as beautiful as a flower, as fast as greyhound and as cool as a car.
My mom is as graceful as a butterfly,
as pretty as a mermaid, and as calm as garden.
My dad is as funny as a clown, as tough as a dragon and as fun as a family BBQ.
My family is amazing.

Dribbling on a Sunday
Playing Basketball with friends
Every time I shoot the ball
The game gets closer to the end

Time on the court lasts a while
But its fun no matter how long
Up and down the court I go
Dribbling the ball makes a song

Its the 2nd half and we are down by two
The game is heated but mild
We always to have our friends cheer us on
I shoot a three, and the crowd goes wild.

As the ball is in the air
It makes a really cool swish
Now we won the game today
It was my birthday wish!

Christmas
Santa up in the sky
My mom making pudding
Kids running inside to eat
My homemade gingerbread man getting chomped down
My cousins giving me hugs goodbye
Christmas

Hair spray fumes plume
in the air, collecting in my lungs
in my hair
pulled tight
As I chance a glance
one last time in the glass

Lengths of ribbon encircle
ankles strengthened across years,
and streams of sweat,
rivulets
across my back,
along my face,
salting the air

And I turn and then learn, and I turn yet again
yearning to glide on the soft satin box
around and around and around
And I achieve a third
but it’s not enough
so I go again and again
One more time, one more uncertain glide
As my body flips, a playing card with sharp motion
and I slow and roll down
One more time, one more time, but it’s never just once more
I won’t stop
until it is perfect.