Month: December 2019

It was The Fourth of July again.
The celebration began.
With fireworks and food.
The celebration was just getting good!

But not everything ever goes as planned.
My uncle handed me fireworks that were canned.
The sparks were all fun and games until,
Everything went downhill.

All of a sudden, I felt a sharp pain in my foot,
And everyone told me to stay put.
I started screaming and crying in pain,
And ran around again.

I got thrown in a bowl of ice cold water,
It was probably 32 degrees on the thermometer.
An ember had burnt a hole through my foot!
A scar will always be there and will stay put.

I hear sounds,
so I cry
there’s this bright light above me
I cry louder
I feel the warmth of arms,
most likely my mother
her arms are as warm as fiery candles
at midnight
then out of nowhere,
there is a BEEEEEEEEP
and her arms turn cold, and I start crying again
Oh no.

“Is it your birthday?”, Shawn asks
“Yup!”, I reply with excitement
I come out of school
and go “home”
it’s the same everyday
beer bottles broken,
or half empty
except something’s different
Dad’s sitting on the couch,
with a belt
Oh no.

I’m off to college I guess
I got accepted to UT Austin
but who will pay?
not Dad.
Oh no.

I’m going to be a father!
I’m with my wife in the hospital
and a ball of joy and happiness emerges
A Baby!
I can’t believe it!
and then there is something familiar
B
E
E
E
E
E
E
E
P
Oh no.
Not again.

It’s raining outside
and everyone’s dressed in black
as I see the brown box,
with the lifeless woman I love inside
as I comprehend the moment,
I start crying,
and I can’t tell if my face is wet for rain
or tears

I’m officially raising a teen now
it’ll be hard but
it’s okay
we walk outside on the sidewalk
and talk
but she col
lap
ses
the doctor said she has a couple of weeks
Oh no.

The familiar sound is back
BEEEEEEP
but I don’t cry
it’s a part of my life now.

I’m alone,
jobless,
happyless,
with no confidence,
but I will keep going!

It’s the day
my fiance and I are getting married!
Oh yes.

Our child is born!
Oh yes.

No complications with health!
Oh yes.

Now I can finally rest,
BEEEEEP
Oh yes.

They take me to a room, and tell me to
Lie down on my stomach

“You have MRSA, a powerful superbug,”
“It’s very hard to treat, you’re lucky your case is mild.”

Someone offers me a pill

“It’ll make the pain go away.”

GIANT SCISSORS start cutting my flesh as if my skin is a sheet of paper
I still feel pain and wonder why the pill isn’t working
Then, the burning sensation of soapy water inside my skin
STINGING like when you get SHAMPOO IN YOUR EYES
And a stuffing made of ribbon, like they were cramming feathers inside of a pillow
Wrapping up my surgery as if it were a present.

In a few weeks,
those terrible SCISSORS would be back,
my ribbons would be cHaNgEd,
and the cries and screams of an eight-year-old girl would echo throughout the building,
tears of fear and pain bouncing around the corridors

And the worst part would be,
That I couldn’t see any of it,
But I could feel EVERYTHING

Fun
Right
Intelligent
Exciting
Nice
Dear
Surprising
Happy
Impavid
Positive

Life’s existence is the result of incredibly
unlikely events that were certainly bound to happen.
And over millions of years life evolves towards a hopeless level of intelligence-
a mishap.
The ability to see and to think so sharply,
leaves behind incomprehensible questions that
we can only answer so partly.
What created this?
What created what created this?

Think about it-
A calendar is an elliptical clock,
at which our beloved sphere is timed revolving around
an enormous mass of plasma,
lost.
Lost in a giant spiral of stars
suspended in a dark and mysterious substance of empty void.
We’re really just another grain of sand in this vast celestial beach.
So where…
Where are we?

I used to say that life is clear for me—
the crystal water of a shoreline,
bewitching blue
reflects against my face.

The water was still and tranquil,
as if it were a turquoise blanket,
the finest silk, caressing
in gentle motions.

A sapphire sky
and amber sun lay above me,
watching me meticulously.
I felt at peace for once.

But it turns out
it’s all some sick facade.
And that once clear water
turned murky and ill-lit,
hitting me with unforeseeable waves.

I wanted to move my gaze away from the water,
but I couldn’t move at all.
I was paralyzed, trapped in my body,
forced to watch helplessly.

Darkness clouded the sky,
numbing my skin
painting it
a pale porcelain.

I faded into the water without protest,
Leaving myself to sink
underneath the howling waves,
plaguing my body and suffocating my mind.

Deeper and deeper I drop,
choking on salt,
breathing in tides,
and embracing the water.

Why?
Why anything?
Why is this world still racist?
Why?
Why is this world still sexist?
Why?
Why do people think that it’s okay to put someone down for joy?
Why?
Why can people believe that global warming isn’t a problem?
Why?
Why can’t people understand that this world has issues?
Why?
Why can’t people take time out of their lives to help those in need?
Honestly…Why anything?…

The fish swam in the light,
towards the frog who was smiling blissfully.
A chaotic war arose,
trapping them in a slippery aroma.
Smoke emerged when the two clashed,
covering the battlefield.
Emerging victorious, the frog ate the fish.
Waking up in a sweat,
the frog hopped to a cliff waiting for his next victim.